my mouth tastes like poor choices
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
