Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
