she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize