I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize