Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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