In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
