grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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