I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
