I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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