He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
