so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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