I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Randomize
