Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
