Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
