So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Holy sore nipples Batman
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
