They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
