I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
