So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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