Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize