No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
