Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize