I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My breasts were aching with rage.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
