When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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