I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
