Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
