I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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