Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
