fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
