dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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