So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
