I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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