My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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