Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My liver just had a heart attack.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
