Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
