Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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