im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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