you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
