They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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