do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
