I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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