this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
worst night to have a conscience
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize