Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
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You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
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Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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