drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Come see our sink grown plant.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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