Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
