How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
