Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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