Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
