I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
worst night to have a conscience
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
