i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
