Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i out mim tonsoeep
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