somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
