I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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