Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
