If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
