Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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