Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
