My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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