he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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