I'm really into asian looking animals
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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