one two three fourrrrnication!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
