you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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