ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
That accounts for only three of the penises
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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