Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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