i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
