I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
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My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
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last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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