problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
